Yesterday was not a good day for me, I felt so used up and like I couldn't go on anymore.Lately I've been looking for the not just any job, but the RIGHT job. I've been praying that God gives me the job that he wants for me. I've been applying at close to 4 to 5 places every day for the past 2 months, I've had around 10 Interviews and still nothing. So yesterday was the day I was ready to lay down and die, I was totally and completely ready to GIVE UP!!!
I was crying almost all day. No matter what I did, where I was, all I could seem to do was cry. On top of all that, I had decided to pay a bill early this last month, like 2 weeks early I had paid it online. Then yesterday I went to go check my checking account and for some reason the money for the bill that I THOUGHT I had paid had not been taken out. I decided to call the company, and sure enough the payment didn't go through. Now I have to pay the full amount plus a late fee. Once again my world started crashing to the floor!
I realize everyone has their bad days, and yesterday was mine. Surprisingly though through the midst of everything else throughout the day I found myself praying and crying out to God. "God I need your help more than ever right now." I know my God will provide. That doesn't mean I'm not scared. I have no clue how things are going to work out, I just have FAITH and BELIEVE that they will.
Later when my sister arrived home from work. We sat down and had a good talk, she pointed out to me that God may be testing me. Trying to figure out how strong of a person I am, and also to see if this time my coming to him is for real. You find out who you truly are in the shadows of your struggles. I have discovered I want to be like Job, even when I lose everything. I will still love my God, and rejoice in my God.