So I'm looking inside myself to see what may need worked on to receive God's full blessing for me. I want everything he has to offer, and I want the fullest and best from him. I was put on this earth to please him and only him. Not too long ago I was not glorifying him in everything I did. I'm sure there is plenty within myself that needs its "fixin". I keep asking what's taking God so long. Now I realize he has been asking what's taking ME so long. I guess I can wait a little longer only to come out on the other side a completely new person and ready for anything God throws my way. I'm completely ready for God to finally call me for what I am here to do. Wherever or whatever he tells me to go or do I will go and do it without a thought or a complaint.
"Make Me Over"--Natalie Grant
I've been silent instead of speaking up, gave my advice instead of giving love. I have been unfair, faithless, and unkind. I have shut my eyes just so I would stay blind. It's not what I'm meant to do 'cause I wanna honor you.
CHORUS: Make me over, make me new, Make me a mirror, a reflection of you. Take me all apart, take me to your heart, and pull me closer. Oh Jesus, make me over.
Take away the pride that whispers in the dark. Take the stone out of the middle of my heart. Hidden underneath my insecurities is the servant that you've destined me to be. Day after precious day, I get in my own way.
CHORUS: Make me over, make me new, make me a mirror, a reflection of you. Take me all apart, take me to your heart, and pull me closer. Oh Jesus, make me over.
I am only made of your imagining, Im dust and clay on the wind, wash me in the river of your sacrifice, until Im changed, purified.
Take me all apart, take me to your heart, and pull me closer My Jesus, make me over. Make Me over, Make Me over, Oh, make me over, Jesus.
I was crying almost all day. No matter what I did, where I was, all I could seem to do was cry. On top of all that, I had decided to pay a bill early this last month, like 2 weeks early I had paid it online. Then yesterday I went to go check my checking account and for some reason the money for the bill that I THOUGHT I had paid had not been taken out. I decided to call the company, and sure enough the payment didn't go through. Now I have to pay the full amount plus a late fee. Once again my world started crashing to the floor!
I realize everyone has their bad days, and yesterday was mine. Surprisingly though through the midst of everything else throughout the day I found myself praying and crying out to God. "God I need your help more than ever right now." I know my God will provide. That doesn't mean I'm not scared. I have no clue how things are going to work out, I just have FAITH and BELIEVE that they will.
Later when my sister arrived home from work. We sat down and had a good talk, she pointed out to me that God may be testing me. Trying to figure out how strong of a person I am, and also to see if this time my coming to him is for real. You find out who you truly are in the shadows of your struggles. I have discovered I want to be like Job, even when I lose everything. I will still love my God, and rejoice in my God.
I haven't had the best couple of years. I've had to deal with some very difficult emotions, and situations. And I'm still fighting some of those emotions today. If it wasnt for the grace of God I have no clue where I'd be today. I was headed down a disgusting path.
It was a wide dirt road, with many companions, but it had sharp turns and ditches like cliffs. The ditches were piled sky high with trash. This trash stank like a mixture of a skunk, and sewage back up. It was horrible; just looking back now makes me gag. How I ever made it through the path without giving up is a miracle within itself. I trudged through and never gave up and I eventually made it to the other side. I didn't realize at the time how terrifyingly disgusting this path was, but today I know.
Now I'm on a cliff overlooking the valley from which I have climbed the long road to the top. The view is amazing from here. I can see where I need to go. This path is quite narrow, but it's lined with luscious green and prospering trees. There's also a clear trickling stream to follow that gives me hope. It's there when I need to relax and rest. The water in this stream is refreshing, when I drink from it; it gives me life! A life that I had forgotten was possible for me to feel.
I like this analogy, many of us travel roads like the one I have just journeyed through. But truthfully how many of us find the other path? The old path was the worldly way where there's no hope, it's dirty and so many unexpected things that will let you fall to the bottom. If you're on that road God is there but he won't pick you up until you ask him. In fact he'll be like Aslan from Narnia Prince Caspian. Lucy only found Aslan when she went looking for him. Once she found him she found her old friend and he was willing to help her once again. But it was only after she asked for help that he was willing to do so.
Once you find God and ask for the help you need. He will bring you from the old path to the new one. He is then the refreshing stream that gives you rest, and gives you life renewed. He is always there when you need him; even when you don't think you need him; he's there. Just know deep in your heart YOU ALWAYS NEED GOD!!
"The waves of death swirled about me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me; the snares of eath confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord; I called out to my God. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears."- 2 Samuel 22:5-7
There comes a time in everyone's life when they stop growing. Physically that is true, but emotionally you're never done growing! There's always room to improve. When I was a kid I couldn't wait to do everything I could in one day, and a day with nothing was BORING. Now that I'm 21, I can't wait where there's a day that I don't have anything to do.
Where do kids get that energy and joyfulness of life. I'm not too sure, but I would love to find that enrichment of life again. I have started to dig within myself to find it, and I have learned that it's not me who brings that feeling to light, it's God. God gives us the ability to see things in life differently. Whether it's just noticing the beauty of the world around us in little everyday things, or whether it's something huge that hits us on the head like a rock from the sky. Eventually if you're willing and want to see life differently God will grant you the ability to do so.
Speaking of this subject it brings me to remember my devotional for today: "Most kids are excited to be alive--they jump out of bed and believe they can do anything. Unfortunately, a lot of them lose that feeling." --Benjamin V.
"Dear friend, guard clear thinking and common sense with your life; dont for a minute lose sight of them. They'll keep your sould alive and well, they'll keep you fit and attractive."--Proverbs 3:21-22 (The Message)
That is so true, and once you lose sight of clear thinking and common sense it is very difficult to get them back. It is also quite difficult to get back that feeling of being excited to be alive. I've realized in the last couple months that each day is a gift, not a given right. Be gracious for what you have, and God never gives you more than you can handle.
